Things that make me feel like tearing my hair out and dissolve into tears:
- Laurie's blog. I will never be this cool. No over several lifetimes. Just looking at her makes my soul smile. But simultaneously feel that uncomfortable internal ebb and flow of my life and it's inadequacies.
- People listing what they have eaten during the day. It stresses me out, period. It's probably something I could take on board, especially since I'm so annoyed with myself these days, but it just smacks of "Thinspiration" etc.
There's girl who I know, and she is not a friend of mine. Not in a bad way, we just aren't friends, through no fault of either of us. But she is very good friends with a friend of mine. She is currently very sick, which I think is terrible, and I am thinking of her, her family, and those who love her and are close to her. No-one likes to watch someone who is in possession of part of their heart waste away. However, so many people around her sucscribe and encourage this sort of lifestyle, a lifestyle dominated by control and a distorted body image. I am no expert. I admit to being horribly uninformed. I ought to keep my mouth shut, but I feel affected by it.
- Capitalism. Because their face/body is aesthetically pleasing and they are very proficient at making films (and films still, to this day, remain one of the most convenient and effective means of escapism), entitles them to earn far more in one year alone, than most people need in their entire lives to live comfortably. There is no "one-step" solution to any one world issue, but it is so blatantly irresponsibly way to allow people to live this way, when so many others have, not even little, they have nothing.
- My bed. Because it's still just a mattress on the ground. And I haven't slept well in 2 and half months.
- Love. Because I'm in love with so many people, and so many of them do not deserve my unrequited love, but that's just how it happens.
- My sister. I live in fear she has stopped loving me. It's absolutely, 100% breaking my heart.
I think you should put your energy into getting a good bed. It's a lot easier to change that than it is to cure anorexia in our time or abolish Capitalism. Plus, some of the most important/fun things happen there. I haven't seen mine in over a week as I am avoiding my housemate. Too long a story for a blog comment.
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