Question: I realise smoking is inherently bad. I know this. I do not justify smoking to myself, though I would like to honestly say that I am exclusively a social smoker. And it depends who I'm with, and usually alcohol has to be involved. Averaging out my consumption, I probably smoke less than 10 cigs a month. It varies, sometimes it's far more, or far less, or none. If my other half hates it, and refuses to kiss me after I've been smoking, is this irrational? Or am I the irrational one for thinking this is unfair? Considering the length of our "togetherness" (approx. 1 month), is it fair for someone to tell you, in lesser terms, that you have to stop something, that you enjoy, despite it's negative connotations. I went out last night, smoked, went back to his place, as we had had a rough day, with some other issues. He wouldn't kiss me, (I told him I had been smoking) and then in the morning, after I had had several bits of chewy and much water, I STILL tasted like cigarettes according to him, despite my own senses being able to find no trace of it. I said sorry, and he said no you're not. And this gave me the shits, as a) I had told him, and he would have been able to say he didn't want to see me and b) I WAS sorry, I went to a lot of effort to make sure I didn't reek of durries before I went to see him.
Am I being juvenile here? I don't even know if there is a right answer to this. I feel like such a failure at this. I am panicking so hard. About everything, not just this.
Anyway, on a better note, am fucking losing my shit, as THE BRIAN JONESTOWN MASSACRE are playing in Melbourne on the 21st Feb. Matt Hollywood is going to be there, so it's like BJM from Dig!. SO fucking stoked. So I'm just listening to BJM, and more BJM. Newcombe is such a genius, albeit a totally fucked one (oooh there's a new concept, a fucked up musical genius!)
I'm not for sale. I'm fucking Love, do you understand what I'm saying? Like, the Beatles were for sale. I give it away.
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