I am in a terrible mood.

A sad mood. A mood in which I reflect on how this kind of mood makes everything seem harder and makes you dislike yourself. It's very emo. The people I love feel like water through my fingers. If I don't hold on tightly enough, one day I'll just look down and they'll have slipped away. A lot faster than you expect. And then they're holding other people in their hands. Instead of you. And you wonder how it happened. I feel like it could be my fault. And it makes me feel like crying. I feel like a spolit, immature, and most disturbingly, selfish. People seem to look at me blankly. I never write this stuff down. Not in public forums anyway.