Oh I'm so glad I found you.

Saturday, August 29, 2009

Hello IT.

I think I'm allergic to cats. And I've never been allergic to anything in my life. Except for bananas. But that's just some weird thing because I can eat banana bread but as soon as I have a banana smoothie my stomach wants to suicide. I went to Pants Downs' house last night, but first I went out for dinner for Tom's farewell and then to Katherine and Liz's house cooling party. They had a gum ball machine so now I have sore teeth from eating too many gum balls. Our internet is shit so I can't go on facebook.
I'm starting work again on Monday, which I am both looking forward to (because I miss work and I'm poor) and not (because I'm lazy). I really feel like i NEED the third season of the IT Crowd. That would actually thrill me.

Thursday, August 27, 2009

You were only waiting for this moment to arise.

Having spent most of my 4 months in Japan going through the most intense brain fuck, EVER, I've just been talking to some friends who have also come home, and it's just nice to know that it wasn't just me. I spent so much time thinking I wasn't trying hard enough, or making enough effort, and that was surely the reason that I wasn't having the time of my life. For the life of me, I never thought I would ever stop wanting to go home. It definitely got easier, but I was so ready to get on that plane to come home. It was a tough 4 months, but I'm so glad I did it. Not only is my Japanese better, I met some amazing people (the name of this blog is actually for Lou Denholm) and I think it made my appreciate home more. Because I am loving being home. So much. There aren't words for it.

When I grow up:
- I want to write a PhD.
- I want to live with Clare and we'll have our own darkroom.
- I'll leanr how to cook without panicking and needing my mum's help.


I have to go have a shower now. It seems procrastination wasn't just something I used to cope during my HSC; I have the ability to incorporate it into all aspects of my life.

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

I am lost for words.

I would just like to take a moment now to let it be know my absolute contempt for the useless fucking excuse for a book that is "Skinny Bitch". I don't even know where to start on how this book is full of complete crap about what, as human beings, we should be eating and how we should be treating our bodies.

The authors, Rory Freedman and Kim Barnouin, certainly have an altruistic enough basic motive (well, this is what I convinced myself in a feeble attempt to extract a sense caring from the text): by eating better, you can lose weight and feel better about yourself. Well, apart from the fact that I already knew this, the book just turns itself into a big hypocritical pile of bullshit, about how dairy products are "disease-producing and harmful, and cause suffering. They are the perfect thing to eat if you want a sick an diseased body". Well excuse me, I wanted a sick and diseased body, and so I ate cheese and milk, for say, oh yeah, 19 years, and motherfuckers! I'm still healthy! I want a refund! This dairy product did not make me sick as promised! You will also be interested to know that the source for much of this anti-milk/dairy products babble is "milksucks.com". I know, that's what I thought-a completely unbiased source I imagine.

There is of course, plenty of the book that makes sense. Eating fruit, regular exercise, the basics. Their basic intentions are definitely into encouraging you to have a healthier lifestyle, but they let themselves down completely with a stupid, whitetrash attitude and conveniently ignore the fact, that yes, these things can be bad for us, but everything is bad for you if you had too much of it.

But the most infuriating part of the book were the last couple of chapters. These women recommend giving blood as "you can save a life and lose weight at the same time", and insinuate that you can give yourself cancer through negative thinking. The examples used referenced women who had been in poor marital relations and as a result got cancer. The one who perservered in the relationship, died ("as a result"), yet the one who left, recovered. They say it is "entirely possible to bring the disease on yourself". And of course it is, smoking, alcoholism, and many other detrimental activities (ironically, a poor diet) will raise your chance of getting cancer, and at one point, make it inevitable. And of course, genetics come into play too. But as someone who knows people who have cancer, and had someone die from it in my family, I would feel gutted if someone suggested a loved one "brought it upon themselves" in a manner suggested by this book.

They also make a feeble attempt at realigning their motives ("don't associate your self-worth with your appearance") and mention that they don't care about being skinny. This is ridiculous as both women worked in the modelling industry and for whatever reasons, this was part of their careers. The book obviously is directly aimed at the market share of people who wish to lose weight and become skinny! Anyone who was looking for ways to generally improve their health, with weight-loss being a mere factor, would certainly (well, I would hope not) turn to this book for advice. I had to laugh when they say "Now you're a skinny bitch, don't turn into a skinny bitch. We are not bitches and have no desire to promote bitchiness." Because, despite this declaration, the back cover of the back claims: "They [the authors] may be bitches, but they're skinny bitches. And you'll be one too - after you get with the program and start eating right."

They need to try and sort out what they are trying to say - if they had actually gone ahead and been really tough about it, without the weak attempt to soften their brash attitude at the end, it may have been a bit more impressive. But really, in the end, this book didn't make me want to go out and follow their advice, it made me want to eat all the dairy and meat products I could get my hands on, purely to spite them. These women are obviously smart and shrewd businesswomen, you can't take that away from them, and have tried to do something different. But it's definitely not for me.

Monday, August 24, 2009

Positively 4th Street.

I had a really good weekend, despite acquiring a hangover that has superhumanly lasted two days. It's so fun :). I got to hang out with one of my closest friends who I haven't really got to spend time with lately, and then see my best friend on the Sunday. We all went to the football and North Melbourne actually beat St. Kilda. It was so hecticly cool. I've never felt so emotionally involved in a game before. I didn't spend too much money on Saturday night and we just went back to our friend's place and got a little bit cooked and played this Boards of Canada song that I love over and over and over again. It was all good, but you know how you have those weekends where you look back and you think, "That was really good, I can't really say anything bad about those two days." But for some reason, it just didn't feel amazing.

I found out this song I like, called "Lover I Don't Have To Love", is actually by Bright Eyes, a band I only recently got into. I had a version by Bettie Serveert that played on "The OC". Anyway it's just such a great song, at risk of sounding terribly emo, this line is great:

"You write such pretty words, but life's no storybook. Love's an excuse to get hurt. And to hurt. Do you like to hurt? I do, I do, I do....then hurt me."

So anyway, the point is that I always thought that unrequited love was a really romantic thing, like the fancy term for reciprocal love that lasts forever. It never really crossed my mind that it actually applies more to people who love someone who never loves them back. So it's actually really, really depressing! And pathetic. I'm hesitant to use the term in relation to how I feel, since I never really learnt how to pin point my feelings, but you know, it's probably something along those lines :).

But I am going to Myrtleford this weekend, and that's always pretty freaking awesome :)

Thursday, August 20, 2009

Fuzzy

This is how my brain feels. Cask wine tends to have this unfortunate side effect. You trade off a non-fuzzy brain for temptingly low prices. I went out last night and had fun even though Roi was lousy. Which is weird for me because I usually like Roi. I hope it's sunny tomorrow, I want to lie outside on a picnic rug in the sun and maybe take webcam photos. Pete's coming to visit :) I'm about to go play Amazon Trail 2. It's going to blow my mind, I haven't played it for ageeeeesssss. I've also realised that lots of stuff I used to feel really strongly about, they eventually just fall away and I don't feel that way anymore, mainly about bad things. So I wonder if this is how I'm going to live my life and I don't even know if this a bad or good thing. I also bought a blazer from the op shop today which I really like. And this is rare because I usually am terrible at op shopping. So I feel a little bit trendy. Which is nice for a change. I'm in terrible pain because for some reason my quads have completely seized up, it's either from the pathetic excuse for a run I did on Tuesday or wearing high heels for the first time in ages. Haha this isn't particuarly funny or cool or anything. But satisfying in some weird way.

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

blog: fail.

I can't be 100% sure who read my blog while I was away but no loss since I didn't post anything. Haha anyway I have been home now for over a week and it's good but the honeymoon period is wearing off and some things feel like they might start going back to how they were before I left, and that that's on top of all the major stuff that happened while I was away. So I am going to try really hard to not let that happen. I'm sitting here eating raspberry bullets feverishly and am coming down from my blind raging about my stupid parking fine. It's not even the money, it's just that it made mum angry with me and I hate her being angry with me. Plus I just feel really dumb. But I went and saw Jane today so that was fun :) she's my Japanese teacher, well she was, but I still talk to her because she is just so great. I'm looking forward to going to Melbourne this weekend, it should be really fun. I'll make a list of things I've accomplished since I've come home:
- I worked out how to type in Japanese on my computer 良かったね!
- I've caught up with most of the people I really missed.
- I saw Greggles before she left for Argentina (today - which totally sucks).
- Cleaned my room.
- Went into the Northside and got my job back.

I'm going to go read all the letters Laurie wrote for me while I was away.